One of the things I am passionate about is teaching my children to embrace their differences and challenges with confidence. I believe God made them with their special gifts for a reason. He has a real purpose even for those annoying traits that we as parents work so hard to change.

8 Great Smarts by Kathy Koch gives a detailed plan about what the smarts are and how they can be taught. It’s important our children know this because it gives them the tools to be the best version of themselves. It gives them the confidence to use various smarts to overcome weaknesses.

Let me tell you about how I learned this lesson. You know, the lesson of teaching your child that it’s ok to be unique. We have three boys but two of them are three weeks apart. They were about seven years old and we were at a homeschool PE class.

Before I go any further, let me tell you a little bit about them. Alex is very athletic and is always tumbling through the house. He is very flexible and is very proud that he can do the splits. In fact, I had to stop him from jumping off a playground and landing in the splits because he thought that was the coolest thing ever. Of course, everyone else did too. PE is his thing and he is naturally very good at it.

Andy is the complete opposite. PE is something he enjoys but it is something he has to work very hard at. However, I don’t even want to go up against Andy in math. That kiddo can rock math and will be way beyond my ability in just a short period of time. He has the ability to see or hear something and remember it forever. He is a whiz!

Now, back to that homeschool PE class… They were playing a game of dodgeball and poor Andy was the first guy out every round while Alex was always close to last.

On our way home, Andy was very upset because he was not good at dodgeball. I heard him being really hard on himself and as a mother, it broke my heart. I began to explain to him that he and Alex were very different therefore they were good at different things.

I told him that if it were me I wouldn’t have lasted in the dodgeball game either because I am not very athletic. Just because we are not good at dodgeball doesn’t make us any less than anyone else. God made us all with different strengths and weaknesses because we wouldn’t want to be all the same. I mean, how boring would that be?

The Importance of Teaching Your Child to be Unique

At that moment I began to pray for God to show me ways to teach my family that it was ok to be unique and different. We have seven children and guess what? They are all different!

In a large family, this can be celebrated or it can become a way of comparison. Comparing your children to each other is a very dangerous thing to do. They do it naturally and so if they hear mom and dad doing it too, it confirms whatever they are thinking about themselves.

The definition of unique is being one of a kind unlike anything else. My goal is to instill this concept in my children but take it one step further. I want them to know that being unique is a good thing and something they must strive to keep.

How 8 Great Smarts was a Gamechanger

I can always count on God to give me direction when I ask for it. A friend told me about a book called 8 Great Smarts by Kathy Koch and I knew immediately this is what I was looking for.

Every single one of our seven children learns differently and have distinct challenges. We have those who work really hard for whatever grade they get and then we have those who breeze through because the concepts come naturally to them.

As a parent, I have concern for both of those types of learners. Sometimes I hope that I am doing enough and all the right things for the struggling learner. Other times I hope the one who is making straight A’s with little effort is learning that there are hard things in life and some things you have to work hard for.

But when it’s all said and done, I want them to feel confident in who they are because God made them unique. 8 Great Smarts gave me the tools to do that.

I will always remember the moment I was sitting with my teenager studying this book and the concept hit him. He was so excited and from that moment he has embraced his challenges.

You see, when he realized that he was “smart” in so many different ways then he was able to stop beating himself up about it. Instead, he put his energy into conquering those challenges. In that school year, he grew leaps and bounds! He made so much progress in those problem areas that I was both elated and relieved.

In the last month, Sam was struggling with studying for a test. When he came to me with it, I asked him if he could use one of his stronger smarts to help himself. He did by adding some movement into his study and before we knew it, he was ready to take the test. He did great on it, by the way.

Teaching your child the 8 smarts will give them the tools to use when they are stuck and need to be able to push themselves forward. It will create independence and confidence as they realize everyone struggles, it is all about overcoming them.

Comparisons

As I said earlier, comparing yourself to someone else can be very dangerous. We all do it and most of the time it is not healthy or constructive.

When I was teaching this concept to my children, I asked them to list the characteristics of a fish. They said things like it can swim and could breathe underwater. Then I asked them to list the characteristics of a bird. It could fly and lay eggs.

I told them that since the fish could not fly, it was stupid. They were appalled that I would say such a thing. They were right what I was saying was silly but that was my point.

Comparing these two animals and saying one was better than the other isn’t right because they are not really comparable. Each one has their special job within nature that God has called them to do.

The same idea applies to us too. It is silly to compare two human beings to each other and call one of them stupid. God has made each of us with different jobs to do.

Free Unit Study:

How I Taught the 8 Great Smarts to My Kids

This Tool is Stupid

To demonstrate this idea I got a can of beans and put several different tools like a badminton racket, a piece of yarn, a screwdriver, and a can opener in a bag.

I set the can of bean in the middle of the table. I explained I loved to make White Chicken Chili for dinner and so I needed to open this can of beans.

I pulled out my first tool, the badminton racket. As much as I banged the top of the can with this racket, it would not open up. The kids thought I was crazy for even trying it. I told them I loved to play badminton (it is one of the few sports I’m actually good at!) so it hurt my feelings to think they thought it was stupid so I moved on.

As hard as I tried, I could not tie the yarn tight enough to pop the lid off that can. Apparently, the yarn is stupid too. So I moved onto my next tool, the screwdriver. I banged and jabbed the top of that can but other than putting a few dents in it, it made no difference.

By now, the kids were telling me that I needed a can opener because that was the tool that was made for this job. So I took their advice and pulled it out. Guess what? It worked! The top of that can came off so easily that I was convinced the can opener was the smartest tool ever. I would be using the can opener for whatever I needed in the future.

Now, that’s just ridiculous, isn’t it? At least that’s what the kiddos told me and I happen to agree with them. However, isn’t that what we do to ourselves and maybe even to our children? We say one kind of smart is the best and if you’re not that one kind of smart you’re out of luck.

Learning to look for the different smarts in ourselves and in others is the way to go. Everyone learns differently and exposing our children to a variety of smarts really helps them grow into well-rounded adults.

At the end of chapter one of 8 Great Smarts, there is a code to use the website’s checklist which will help you determine your child’s smarts.

When the children are young, their smarts are fluid and will change often. However, it was so enlightening to see what they were strong and weak in. When I know this information, I can gear our lesson plans to teach with their primary smarts while exposing them to their weaker ones.

So buckle up, we are going to explore how I taught each of these smarts to the kiddos. It is so much fun and I hope and pray that is a gamechanger for your family too.