As a mom of seven children, I am a big believer in chores. When you have a large family there is a lot of people around all the time. When there is a lot of people around, there are messes. These messes require attention and I don’t have the time or the energy to keep up with it all.

In this handbook, we will talk about the following things:

• What is a chore?
• How to determine age-appropriate chores
• How to get chores started with your kids
• Free PDF Download list of chores
• Step by step instructions to complete each chore

What is a chore?

A chore is a task that is done on a regular basis like every day. Children’s chores are assigned based upon their age and physical ability to get the job done.

Why do we do chores?

Let me let you in on a little secret… Do you want to know what the cure to entitlement is? Chores! All of us parents experience the symptoms of entitlement in our children. You know when they act like they are deserving of special privileges or treatment for no apparent reason.

When a child is expected to some chores it creates the following attributes:

• A heart of gratitude
• An awareness of what is required to run a household
• The physical ability to do the job
• It divides the jobs amongst everyone

A Heart of Gratitude

On several occasions, I have had a child who has a nasty attitude and is acting quite spoiled. When this happens I have been known to have them stop whatever they are doing and do a chore. I am always very surprised when it works and changes their attitude.

Chores tend to cultivate a heart of gratitude as we are learning to take care of what God has given us. We realize how undeserving we are for the things He has provided us and that turns into thankfulness.

An awareness of what is required to run a household

As we are raising our children the goal is for them to become independent adults. When they have their own family, I want my children to have a good idea of what it takes to provide a happy, healthy home for their children.

The physical ability to do the job

When they are doing a chore, they should master it over time. This gives them a tool in their toolbox for future use. If the bathroom needs cleaning, they know how to do it. If someone spills something, they know how to get the vacuum out and clean it up.

It divides the jobs amongst everyone

It is a LOT of work having a large family. It can get overwhelming really fast because there are so many moving parts that require our constant attention. However, when you take the time to train people, it pays off. All the work does not fall onto mom or dad and so everyone can chip in and help get the job done. Honestly, it is a lot more efficient because lots of hands help the work get done faster.

Adoption: Finding Purpose in Our Pain

When do we do chores?

We do chore six days a week. On Sundays, we do a smaller chore list of things that have to be done like unloading the dishwasher and taking out the trash. I have learned to be consistent and make them a part of our daily routine.

Be consistent

Unless it is a holiday, a Sunday, or their birthday, our children are required to get up, eat their breakfast and then do their chores. We do this every single day no matter how I feel.

If the child thinks that they can skip it and the parent will allow it, you can guarantee that will happen. For me, I need to have my house cleaned and tidied before I can be productive. I have realized over the years that this is a need of mine and so I just roll with it.

It is important the chores are done on a consistent basis at approximately the same time each day. This way the child gets used to is, develops their own routine, and they just know what is expected of them.

Make them a part of your daily routine

When the chores are an established routine like brushing their teeth or washing their faces, they become a part of their daily habit. This gives them a chance to make it their own by developing their way of getting the job done.

Who does them?

Everyone in our household does chores. I feel like it is very important that they learn to contribute starting at a young age. When the child is between two and three, they want to help you do everything. As a mom, it’s tempting to just want to get it done myself, but what is that teaching the child?

I take the time to work with my child because I know what a valuable investment it is in the future. If I shut them down now, trust me, the “want” to work is not going to come back.

What chores does each child do?

I assign the chores based on the physical capabilities to handle the job, the time it takes to complete the chore, and the time they have available. I need them to be big enough to handle whatever the job requires. I also want to make sure that they are working about the same amount of time.

For example, I don’t want the chores to be taking one child twenty minutes while the other child is working five minutes. Now, if the job is taking them longer because they are dawdling and unfocused, that is their problem, not mine. I separate the jobs based upon the time I know it should take.

For example, there is some physical strength needed to vacuum the carpets, so I am not going to assign this to my five-year-old. Also, I need to be assured they will handle any cleaning products or tools safely and appropriately, so they don’t get hurt.

Sam (Age 16)

Sam unloads the dishwasher and takes out the trash every morning. I have assigned these chore to him because he is always the first kiddo up in the morning.

I need these chores to be done first so the rest of the kiddos can load their breakfast dishes directly into the dishwasher. When Nikki empties out the small trash cans through the house, I need her to have room to dump them or the trash just goes all over the floor.

Plus, Sam is tall enough to put the dishes away so they are not laying on the counter for me to do later.

Sam is the only one of our children who plans to do his chores first before he does anything else.

Unload the dishwasher

1. Put the dishes away as you go.
2. Dry off any dishes that are still wet.
3. Put dishes away in an organized manner.
4. When putting away plates and bowls, start by putting the larger items on the bottom and stack by size.
5. Unload and put away the silverware.
6. Make sure all of the silverware is dry before putting away.

Trash

1. Put diapers in the trash.
2. Tie the trash bag up.
3. Lift the trash out of the trash can.
4. Make sure it’s not leaking.
5. Take the trash bag out to the outside trash can.
6. Put a new trash bag in the inside trash can.

Bella (Age 10)

Bella cleans the living room and vacuums all the rooms that have carpet. It’s her responsibility to make sure the floors are clear from any large objects before she starts her job.

Vacuum

1. Get the vacuum out and plug it in.
2. Divide the room into smaller sections.
3. Move and/or turn the vacuum forward in a straight line.
4. Move the vacuum over and pull it back.
5. Repeat until the room is complete.

Andy (Age 9)

Andy has a couple of chores, cleaning the master bathroom and sorting dirty clothes. In the master bathroom, he needs to vacuum the floor, and clean the toilet and the sink.

We keep baskets to put our dirty clothes in the master bathroom and our girl’s bedroom. The way that our house is set up, these are two central locations so it is easy and convenient.

The laundry basket in our girl’s room has a handle on it and a set of wheels. Andy grabs the basket and rolls it into the master bathroom to collect the dirty clothes.

He takes all the dirty clothes into the laundry room. Based upon the clothing color, he sorts them into the correctly labeled basket.

Dirty Clothes

1. Gather the dirty clothes and take them to the laundry room.
2. Sort by color into the correct basket:
   • Lights – Whites, Grays, Light Blue, Yellow, Turquoise, Green
   • Reds – Red, Pink, Orange
   • Darks – Black, Jeans. Blue, Purple

Cleaning the Master Bathroom

1. Spray sink with cleaner.
2. Spray toilet with cleaner.
3. Vacuum or sweep floor.
4. Wipe down the sink and rinse.
5. Using the toilet brush, clean the toilet bowl.
6. Wipe down in this order, using disposable wipes:
   • Handle
   • The lid of the toilet
   • Toilet Seat
   • Base of toilet

Alex (Age 9)

Alex is responsible for all the kitchen chores and clean-up. His chores are one of the reasons I have everyone eat first and then do their chores. When it is done in this order, he is able to get his chores completed in a timely manner and not have to wait for everyone to get done.

Clean Kitchen Table

1. Clear table of any objects.
2. Wet a rag with warm water and ring it out.
3. Wipe the table starting at one end and scoop crumbs into your hand (not the floor) then throw away.
4. Repeat the two previous steps until the table is clean.

Clean Kitchen Floor

1. Pick up large items off the floor.
2. If using a broom:
   • Sweep the dirt up into a pile or smaller piles around the kitchen and dining area.
   • Then use a dustpan to collect the pile and dump in the trash.
3. If using a vacuum:
   • Get the vacuum out and plug it in.
   • Divide the room into smaller sections.
   • Move and/or turn the vacuum forward in a straight line.
   • Move the vacuum over and pull it back.
   • Repeat until the room is complete.
   • We use a cordless vacuum for the kitchen, because of the ease of use.
4. Put chairs back to where they belong.

Randa (Age 8)

Randa cleans the main bathroom, waters any seasonal plants that we have and sweeps the front porch. I grouped her chores together so that she can take care of the things that are outside in front of the house.

Cleaning the Main Bathroom

1. Spray sink with cleaner.
2. Spray toilet with cleaner.
3. Vacuum or sweep floor.
4. Wipe down the sink and rinse.
5. Using the toilet brush, clean the toilet bowl.
6. Wipe down in this order, using disposable wipes:
   • Handle
   • The lid of the toilet
   • Toilet Seat
   • Base of toilet

Nikki (Age 5)

It is Nikki’s responsibility to make sure all the little trash cans located throughout the house are dumped and put back in their places. She also makes sure both upstairs bathrooms are stocked with toilet paper so nobody is left hanging.

Bathroom Trash

1. Collect trash cans from the bathrooms and any other places in the house where there are small trash cans.
2. Dump small trash cans into the house trash can. (Ours is located in the kitchen)
3. Return trash cans back to its place.

Stock Toilet Paper

1. Count how many rolls of toilet paper are in the bathrooms.
2. Figure out how many you need to get to equal a total of 3 rolls total. (we have a toilet paper holder for extra toilet paper in the main bathroom)
3. Go to where your toilet paper is stored and collect the amount needed in the previous step.
4. Stock the bathroom with needed toilet paper.

Georgie Lou (Age 3)

Georgie Lou is responsible for cleaning up her own breakfast mess. We will be promoting her to emptying trash cans soon because I have found this is the best place for them to start.

How do I know what chore to assign them?

As with all parenting, we have to trust our guts. Our children’s levels of development vary so much that it is a judgment call on our part.

I do have a few tips for this decision:

• Age of the child
• Curiosities of the child
• They can read

Age of the Child

Generally, around age eight a child begins to have the physical strength and the cognitive abilities to handle more complicated chores. It is at this point I am training them to do things like vacuum the floor or clean the bathroom.

There are chemicals involved in cleaning the bathroom and so I have to know they will handle those chemicals safely and appropriately.

Curiosities of the Child

Whatever fascinates the child can accelerate or delay their ability to do a chore. For example, we have one kiddo who is enthralled with how the vacuum works. I had to make him wait to do this chore until I was certain he understood the safety regulations of vacuuming. Basically, I needed him to understand if he put his finger in the vacuum, it could really hurt him. Or if he decided to explore the inside of the vacuum while it was plugged in, it would electrocute him.

On the flip side of that, if they are fascinated with using a spray bottle or running water, it could work to your advantage. It really just depends on the child.

I always closely supervise when a child is doing a new chore because above all, I need them to be safe.

They can read

We work off a chore list every morning and so being able to read that list is very important. I need to keep things very methodical and simple for those children that cannot read yet.

I want them to be able to do these independently without me so I keep that in mind. However, I do assign buddies (older siblings) who are tasked with making sure their younger siblings get their stuff done.

How often do they change their chores?

There is no science behind when I change their chores around but I try to mix it up about once a quarter. There are a couple of reasons I do this:

• Mastery of the chore
• Variety of jobs

Mastery of the Chore

My kiddos love to ask me when they can change their chores, I kid you not, they always ask on the days when they have done their chores halfheartedly. My response is “When you have done this chore consistently well, that means every day when I check it, it is a good job, then I will re-assign chores.”

It is easier for me to have them doing the same thing every day because I know who is responsible and can coach those who need it. If the kitchen floor is a mess, then I know I need to have a conversation with Alex.

There is a lot more accountability when they are responsible for the same chores because sometimes I don’t catch it right away. I may notice the bathroom sink is looking pretty bad on day two and at that point will have a conversation with Randa.

Variety of Jobs

On the other hand, I don’t want to create a bunch of one-trick ponies. I want to train them to be able to do whatever they need to do because the whole point of this is for them to be independent adults someday.

In order to cross-train them on everything, I need to assign them different age-appropriate chores.

How do we implement the system?

Whenever you are making changes like adding chores, I always advise taking baby steps. I started this process over ten years ago and now it has paid off with my entire house being cleaned every morning.

Adding a chore list will be overwhelming for both you and your child so I suggest adding one chore per week until the child has mastered them all.

Also, we do all our chores every day. However, we are a family of nine so we have the manpower and the mess to work with.

When four of our kiddos were gone to church camp this past summer, the chores didn’t have to be done as often because the house stayed pretty clean.

One of the first things they asked me when they got back was “Who did the chores?” I told them I did them but I didn’t have to do much because it didn’t get as dirty.

Basically what I am trying to say is that if you have a smaller family, rotating the chores on a daily basis would probably work for you. You probably don’t need to clean the bathroom every day. We have seven children, three of them are boys, so, yes, we have to clean the bathroom every day.

Chore List

Our kiddos work off of a chore checklist every morning. On the checklist, we have the chores they are required to do along with the step by step instructions to complete the job properly.

Good news! You can download your own copy here:

We put our chore lists in a page protector so we can erase and reuse it. We use dry erase markers to keep track of our progress.

The “Flow” of the Chore List

I say this all the time and it applies to chores too. It’s not always about what you do but how you do it.”

When you are setting up the chore list, I always think of the jobs that I cannot give up doing myself. These are the jobs that I am too picky about how they are done that I need to keep.

For me, that’s the laundry. I need to do that job myself although I do have the kiddos help me put it all away. Also, they wash their own bedding and so they do know the basics of running the washing machine and dryer.

Once you have that settled, then you need to think about the chores that need to be done on a daily basis. For example, at our house, the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and the trash has to be taken out every day. It doesn’t matter if it is a holiday or not, it still has to be done.

Once you have determined that, then think about how much time the child has available in their day to do chores. When we fostered, our foster children attended public school and so their time was limited. I asked that they made their beds every morning and cleaned up their breakfast mess. In the evening, they helped with dinner and cleaned up while the rest of our children, who were homeschooled, did the rest of the daily chores.

I also think about what needs to be done so I don’t have more work. For example, if the dishwasher is empty then the dishes can be loaded directly into it after they have finished their meal. If it is not emptied, then what happens? The dishes pile up in the sink causing an extra chore for someone (usually dad).

Simply planning ahead to make sure that it is unloaded and ready to go can save a lot of time and frustration.

Family Meeting

Whenever I make changes, I always introduce them at a family meeting. The grapevine is a very real thing especially in a large family and I want all the kiddos to hear about the changes and new expectations directly from me.

We also brainstorm about the best way to do things. I listen and value their opinion so there will be some adjustments and changes made to the original plan. This is an opportunity for us to work it out as a team.

Training them to do it right

Training them to do the job correctly the first time is by far the biggest challenge. When this happens, what do we as the parents do? We just finish it up ourselves. No! No! No!

We must call the child back in and have them redo the job correctly. This will take more time, yes, but how are they going to learn. Once, the child has redone the job, they must wait for me to approve it before moving onto the next thing.

Let me ask you this… What incentive does the child have to do the job the right way if they know Mom or Dad will just come in and do it for them? None! Our children are very smart cookies, and in no time they will start using this to their advantage.

The Chore List Rules

There are some basic rules for doing your chores.

No “halfway” jobs

The job needs to be done right the first time.

They must be done before you do the next thing

You can’t do anything else until you have completed your chores.

If you don’t do the work, you don’t get the perks

If you don’t do your chores then you will lose a privilege.

Double-Check

As the parent, I do a walkthrough after they are done. If they didn’t do it or do it well, then I have them do it again.

Major Cleaning Day

We have what I call a “Major Cleaning Day” once a week. This is the day where, as a family, we spend about two hours doing those chores that should be done weekly. The once a week chores are:

• Bleach the bathrooms and kitchen
• Mop the floors
• Clean the van
• Clean the basement
• Dusting
• Wiping down doorknobs and light switches
• Cleaning the yard
• Cleaning the garage
• Deep clean their bedrooms

I find if we take the time to do these things once a week, maintaining it with our daily chores the rest of the time is a breeze.

Cleaning Tools and Supplies

We use a variety of cleaning tools to make things easier and convenient for everyone. We store these items in an area that is easily accessible to kids.

Shark Vacuum

We use our vacuum on an average of six days per week and so I have found that the Shark brand vacuums last the longest. I like them for the following reasons:

• I like the way you can take them apart and clear any blockages.
• It doesn’t require vacuum bags because you can dump all the debris directly into the trash can. This saves money on vacuum bags.
• You can take the vacuum apart making it easier to vacuum the places that are hard to reach and the stairs. This works great for getting rid of those cobwebs in the corner.

I do spring for the protection plan on these because this way I can have it replaced if it stops working. This way I can guarantee the vacuum will last for at least two or three years.

Shark Cordless Vacuum

We use the Shark Cordless Vacuum several times a day. We keep it parked on its charger in our kitchen so we can grab it at any time. After every meal, we vacuum so our floors stay pretty clean. It comes in really handy for cleaning up after those messy craft projects.

• It is small enough and easy to handle that Georgie Lou or Nikki can use it.
• It doesn’t require vacuum bags either and the container is easily dumped in to the trash can.

I also pay a little extra for the replacement protection plan because it ensures that my vacuum will last a while before I have to buy another one.

All-Purpose Cleaner

I use a simple all-purpose cleaner for our daily cleaning. I like to pick something that smells good.

I prefer to buy it in a concentrated form so I can mix my own according to their instructions. It is a lot cheaper and I only have to buy it once a year.

Disposable Wipes

We use disposable wipes to clean with because it is so much easier for the kiddos to navigate. We train to throw them into the trash because we live in a house with a septic system.

Laundry Basket

The laundry basket with the wheels makes collecting and transporting the laundry to the laundry room so much easier. They just roll it in, empty it, and then put it back.

Resist the urge to do it yourself

Before I go, I want to leave you with this thought. We have to resist the urge of just doing it ourselves. Let me just tell you this now, it’s not going to be done how you would do it, but that’s ok. This is a process and you are teaching them as they grow.

Appreciate their effort and gently coach them on how to do it. Resist the urge to be frustrated, (I know, it’s hard!) and ask yourself if you see any improvement. This is not about perfection, this is about equipping your child to do this for their own children someday.

Remember, no sudden changes! Take this and implement it a little bit at a time and you will be amazed at what they can accomplish!

I would love to hear how you did it! Please reach out with any questions.

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