My husband and I have adopted seven times and six of them have been from foster care. Our first adoption was a private domestic adoption while the rest have been through the foster care system.

The 7 really great reasons for adopting through foster care are:

• Meeting a need within your community
• Available Training and Other Resources
• Sibling groups
• Birth family relationships
• Trial period
• Cost of the adoptions
• Being part of a team

Of course, my seven reasons for adoption have names and adorable little faces but I want to share with you seven other reasons.

Meeting a need within your community

There is something about coming together within the community to meet a need that is magical. The need for homes for children within foster care is huge! The statistics of children who are already in care and coming into care is staggering. There are more children than homes available and the need is desperate.

Now, let me be clear, all of these children are not immediately available for adoption. In fact, they might never be but that doesn’t diminish their need for a home filled with love and security during the reunification period.

These children have already experienced some sort of trauma and now are being removed from what they are used too and the people they are attached too. As you can imagine, having someone they can lean on during this time is so important.

It’s simple things like:

• a house that smells nice and has no bugs
• blankets and sheets
• a bonus was a bed
• clothes and shoes that actually fit
• regular, healthy meals
• toys to play with

These things seem so normal to us but to these children, these needs are everyday life.

Available Training and Resources

Our state requires foster parents to do continuing education in order to maintain your license along with quarterly visits from your licensing case manager. I will say it is not the easiest to get done when you are in the trenches parenting a bunch of kids, but it is necessary for parenting a bunch of kids.

The needs of these children are enormous. The behaviors of these children are extremely challenging. If you don’t have the training to understand them, then your frustration and anger will be a danger to both you and the child.

Training resources and information will help take the emotion out of the situation because you understand the child is not directly taking his behaviors out on you. You are cleaning up a mess that someone else has caused and you are the one present in their life currently.

What better way to be educated on resources available to both you and the child than by the state employees. They know what help is available and can help facilitate meeting the need in the quickest way possible.

We have been able to participate in various therapies to help us heal together. These opportunities saved more than one child in our home and educated me. It also helped me see what I could do for early intervention by getting the child the help they needed as quickly as I could.

Sibling groups

We have two sets of biological siblings within our adopted crew. We firmly believe that if it is possible, they should be raised together which is why we have seven children.

There is something special about raising kiddos who share the same DNA. With fostering and adoption, there is a lot of parenting in the dark. What I mean by that is we don’t always know a lot about the family history so we are always making judgment calls.

For example, one of our sibling groups has extremely sensitive skin. They tend to break out in rashes which causes swelling. It scared me the first time it happened with the oldest one but then I began to realize this was something she did. When her sister arrived and the same thing happened to her, it was easier for me to deal with it because it was obviously something in their genetics.

If you want more than one child then sibling groups would be a really great reason to adopt through foster care. They deserve to have the opportunity to be raised together and the state agencies recognize this bond as significant.

Birth Family Relationships

I am sure you are saying what?? How is this a great reason to adopt through foster care? When we began adopting I definitely wanted to limit my interaction with the birth family. Over the years and as I have matured, I have begun to understand what advantages a relationship with the birth family is.

One never knows what is going to happen when dealing with the birth family. It can be a good relationship on some days and quite rocky on others. Sometimes I was the enemy while other times I was their friend. The not knowing what I was going to deal with on any given day was the most exhausting part.

I always treated them the way I would want to be treated if I was in their position and spoke to them from a parent to a parent standpoint. Sometimes this required a gentle hand while other times it required me telling them the truth in a firm but loving manner. For the most part, I think they always knew I truly cared for them and their children. They would be mad at me but they would come around.

Now don’t get me wrong, boundaries are very important in this relationship. I would say they should be customized to each situation because each birth family requires special handling.

All of it is worth it though especially as the child grows older. As they begin to mature and grow, having as much family history information is invaluable. If at all possible having someone within their birth family that can support you as a contact for questions is a gift.

Trial period

When we first started fostering we couldn’t imagine that a child would not fit into our family. I mean, it’s just a child! Well, I’m here to tell you that it is possible they will not fit into the dynamic of your home. Every one of these kiddos has some form of a special need and so you as the parent have to understand you are signing up to care for them forever as an adoptive parent. This is not an agreement that should be taken lightly at all.

The trial period allows you to see if you can handle the level of care they need. This also allows you to see if your children or the other children in your home can handle everything that goes with it too.

So while having a trial period may sound harsh, it is a necessary advantage.

Cost of the Adoptions

There is no way we could have afforded to adopt seven kiddos without the subsidies we received from the state. It’s a very costly endeavor and it would have meant some of the siblings would have to been split up.

Raising seven kiddos is expensive so the resources from the state help us to give them the life they deserve. There is no way to get rich off of foster care in my opinion. I look at it as a way to help get the child’s basic needs met.

The state subsidies help with the cost of the lawyers and courts for the initial adoption proceedings. They offer health insurance, daycare costs, and a small monthly maintenance payment for the ongoing needs of the child until age 18.

Being Part of a Team

I always enjoyed being a part of the family support team and I always thought of myself as wearing different hats to help me cope with this part.

When I was at home I wore the “Mommy” hat. It was my job to love and care for that child and their immediate needs. It was my job to protect them as much as I could from the details of their case. It was my job to comfort them when they became so angry or sad and could not go on. It was my job to see that they had childhood memories they could never forget and someday would provoke conversations of “Remember when?” That’s what the “Mommy” hat looks like.

When I was dealing with the birth families or the state, I wore the “Professional Parent” hat. That sounds so important, doesn’t it? Well, actually it is. When I wore this hat, I had to remove myself from the emotion I felt during this case. I had to mentally become a professional and speak about the child in a manner that would not offend anyone. I would need to advocate for the child and be their voice to express their wants and needs in a constructive way. I tried not to demonstrate the possessiveness that would offend others and give the impression that I was in this for the wrong reasons. I did not always do this one right. It is by far the hardest one and it’s so hard to separate the two.

If you think adopting is a way you want to go, I encourage you to take the first step. Find a foster or adoptive parent and ask them questions. Contact your local Division of Family Services and ask them about the next steps to becoming a foster or adoptive parent. The need is great and you may be the answer to some child’s prayer. Do you want to know a little secret? They may be the answer to yours!