Managing the chaos of a large family is challenging and exhausting. As a mom of seven, I have set some boundaries or rules in our household to limit the chaos. Without them, a person can go crazy and this mama needs her sanity!

13 Tips for Managing the Chaos

• Start Time
• Be Quiet When You Wake Up
• Eat at Designated Times
• No Eat, No Treat
• No Seat, No Eat
• Follow the Schedule
• Focus
• Clean Up Before You Move On
• You Made the Mess, Own it!
• The Buddy System
• Outside Play Time
• Electronics
• Bedtime

I am sure you have heard the term organized chaos. Having a large family is challenging enough but then you add in homeschooling and the bar just got higher. We always have kiddos underfoot and we figured early on that we need to give them specific directions about what is acceptable and what is not.

Check out our YouTube video about this!

These tips are my attempt to do that in our home. There are many challenges to raising children, and these tips tend to make it a little bit simpler.

Start Time

In the mornings we have a start time. Currently, our start time is 8:30 am or 9:00 am. What a start time means, is that the children are in their rooms quietly occupying themselves until the start time for the day.

Having a firm start time encourages them to use the time to sleep because the time they can get up doesn’t change regardless of what time they wake up.

They are usually reading, watching a show, or playing quietly but they are not to leave their room unless it is their day to shower.

We have two nights a week that we get home really late and it makes the next mornings really tough to get started. Instead of insisting everyone get moving, I take advantage of those morning’s extra quiet time and move our start time to 9:00 am.

I communicate the start time to them the night before but they have learned our basic schedule. Monday and Wednesdays start at 8:30 and Tuesdays and Thursdays start at 9:00 am. Fridays are a really early start because we attend our homeschool co-op on that day. Saturdays are our day to sleep in so the night before I remind the kiddos of that. I usually try to have a start time to communicate so that I can get a little extra sleep. Sundays have an early start too because we attend church.

The reason we did this is so that we didn’t have kiddos running around the house unsupervised. It presents a real safety concern and we wanted to be able to make sure everyone was protected.

This rule was especially important during the years we fostered children. Oftentimes we would be taking care of children we were still getting to know so this added a layer of protection for them and for our own children too.

Be Quiet When You Wake Up

This rule is in effect but it is a tough one to enforce. All it takes is for one child to wake up and the whole house is hopping. We are constantly reminding them that they need to be considerate and respectful of everyone around them.

It does get a little easier as they get older and can quietly read a book. That is my recommendation for them when they wake up early. Read a book!

Eat at Designated Times

We have three meals, one snack and a small, special treat every day. There are scheduled times for them to enjoy these things. We encourage them to eat at the designated time for a couple of reasons:

• Healthy Habit
• Supply and Demand
• Less Mess

Healthy Habit

It is a healthy habit to eat on a schedule and not condition our bodies to graze or eat all the time. I have found this to be true even for myself. If I am eating well-portioned meals and snacks on a regular schedule, I find myself being more disciplined about how much I eat.

Supply and Demand

When I do my grocery list and shopping, I plan how much we will need based upon the schedule of meals and snacks. Eating at a designated time prevents them from eating everything we have in the kitchen resulting in a short supply of food, additional trips to the store, and more money spent.

Less Mess

I cringe at the thought of seven children running around the house eating at whatever time they get the urge. The mess would be uncontrollable and I would be going crazy!

No Eat, No Treat

If they don’t eat their meal, then they don’t get the treat. We have experienced our fair share of picky eaters especially when we were fostering children. When our family grew, I realized I couldn’t be a short-order cook for everyone.

So we invented the “No eat, no treat” rule and it has worked very well. We do not make the child eat their food, they have a choice, and there is a consequence for whatever they choose. If they choose not too, then, no problem, but they won’t get the treat. This has helped encourage them to try new foods to determine if they truly don’t like something or if it’s just not their favorite.

No Seat, No Eat

If they don’t sit in their seats, they don’t eat. If the kiddos are running around eating then there is going to be a mess wherever they go. We control the crumbs by requiring them to sit at the table while they eat. We always have those little challengers who love to violate the rule and so we do have to remind them of this often. They will lose a perk when they disobey.

Follow the Schedule

We have a visual daily schedule that is posted every morning. While it is dry erase for a reason, we do try to follow it as much as we can. The children are required to be aware of what’s going on and stick to it as much as possible. They need to be prepared and ready to move to the next thing when it is time. Click HERE to see a post about how we schedule.

Focus

This brings me to this part which I am diligently working on with my children and myself. Whatever we are currently working on is where our focus and attention needs to be. Work on what we have to get done so we can play and have fun later.

In a large family, there is a lot of goofing off and it costs us a lot of time. If every one of my children goofs off for one minute, it costs us seven minutes. Let’s just say it’s never only one minute or one kid.

Clean Up Before You Move On

This one is a biggie! Have you ever followed a trail of mess and found your child at the end? That’s the reason we employ this strategy. You have to clean up your mess before you move on to your next thing. For example, school work and supplies need to be put back in their places before we move onto lunch. The lunch mess needs to be clean up before we get to go outside and play.

The Buddy System

The buddy system is a lifesaver in our home. If one of the children is struggling with math, another child is able to help them. We train our children to not only give help but accept it from other siblings as well. As I am writing this, Alex is playing an ABC game with his little sisters and I had to encourage them to cooperate.

We all have to work together and I think it’s a benefit. I can’t tell you how many times I have been blown away by another child’s teaching. Their perspective and delivery of the lesson or concepts are priceless!

You Made the Mess, Own it!

If a child makes a mess then they must clean it up. Now, there are some age-appropriate levels in this particular point because I can’t have my three-year-old responsible for whatever mess she makes. Sometimes I help and sometimes that’s where the buddy system kicks in.

I have noted that if my children know they have to clean up the mess they make they are more careful about how much of one they make. If they spill something, they are as involved in cleaning it up as I am. For my oldest children, they will do it all and I will inspect the job when it is done.

Outside Play Time

Nothing wears a child out like outside playtime. Being outside is therapeutic for them and me too! While they are outside I have a few minutes to enjoy a quiet house which is amazing!

The fresh air is good for them and my children are always creating games to play. I love it when they beg me to go outside so they can play some imaginary game they have contributed too.

Electronics

We have a rule that they can play their electronics only in the living room area and they must turn them into me every night. The charging station is located in our room. I do this for a couple of reasons:

• Sense of Community
• Accountability

Sense of Community

There is a time for them to be quiet in their rooms and there is a time for them to be together. I like to have the time where they are able to have electronics to be hosted in a community area. Everyone is encouraged to play together even though they have electronic devices.

Accountability

If they are using them in our community area there is a certain amount of accountability it provides. I feel like it is our job as the parents to place boundaries in this area because it can quickly get out of control. Placing those boundaries helps them learn to set future ones for themselves.

Bedtime

Bedtime is at eight o’clock for our middles and littles every night. Our teenager usually stays up until about nine o’clock and then he heads to his room for about an hour of his own quiet time.

I have made the mistake that every parent has. I think if I let them stay up later they will sleep in and that does not work so I might as well just follow the bedtime schedule.

Are they ready for bedtime at eight o’clock? Nope, but I am ready for them to be in bed at that time. I always joke that I have a certain amount of grace for my children every day and it expires at eight o’clock. I joke but it’s actually true.

I hope some of these tips will help you whether you have a large family or a small family. It’s going to be chaos, let’s just make it constructive! Thank you for reading!